Ask Ali: Heartbreak

The most requested topic asked about in my DMs was heartbreak, which wasn’t really a surprise. Heartbreaks and break-ups are hard and we all have to go through it.


So you’ve pulled up into heartbreak hotel, clocked-in and you’ve stayed in bed for nearly 3 days. You’re cosy. I know that feeling.

1)      The first part of getting through this is getting comfortable with the fact – they’re not the one. Ouch. But no I’m sorry, they’re probably not the one. The one will always show up, stick around, stay faithful, pay attention to your stories, love you and show it every day. If they’re not checking those boxes, if they’re not even trying to, they’re not the one. On the bright side that leaves you in a position of 50% pain and 50% pleasure. Its hard to let go of a future you allowed your heart to get set on and these future plans you created in your mind seemed so sweet. But it was just an idea which you have to release and for a while that will hurt. However, you need to a know this is just a chance to reroute and get on track for something even better. Know that the right person or even just the next person is on their way and probably sooner than you think right now and if you believe in love as a law like I do, then know that when you’re supposed to fall in love you will.  There’s nothing you can do to run away from it or towards it. So, take a step back, relax, breathe, eat. Spend some time doing your favourite things. What’s your favourite film again? Maybe it’s time to watch that. Get yourself some snacks and get comfortable with the idea of waiting. Remember that when you’re supposed to fall in love again – you will. So, there’s no rush. And if it’s a rare right person wrong time situation, you’ll eventually find your way back to each other at the right time. 

2)      Who is the one? What are they like? What qualities do they have? No, it’s time to get that straight and set the right intention. Decide on what standards the next person needs to meet. Have a vision. Pray. Plan. Be patient and have faith for a new and better love. Remember don’t settle out of loneliness, you can be fully whole and content alone. 

3)      You have dreams to remember. Break-ups can be a time to dive into your work and your creativity. Maybe even pick up a hobby or a side-hustle because you still have a whole life

ahead of you and a purpose to fulfil. Love will happen on its own, but a career won’t.

4)      Visit your grandparents. 

5)      Exercise. 

6)      Stop checking for them. Feel free to unfollow them on social media if you have to. Trust me it doesn’t matter what they’re doing. It’s easier to move on from something if you’re not looking back at the past constantly. 

7)      Relax. Laugh if you want to and cry if you need to (but not all day.)  The future is so much better. 

8)      If you made mistakes in the healing process. Forgive them.

Its going to be okay.

As for the second question:

“how do you deal with rejection? It can suck when someone you’ve fallen for just turns you down.”


Firstly, your rejection is no reflection of your worth. That person again probably isn’t the one. Keep your presence where its appreciated and stop watering dead plants. Go where you’re wanted. Dating is just about compatibility so wait for someone you’re more compatible with. Follow some of the steps above.





Love,

Ali